Friendship

Don’t Be a Snitchy Witch: Tips to Prevent Snitching

Nobody likes a snitch, but it can be difficult for children to understand the difference between being a tattle tale and reporting a dangerous situation to an adult.  Snitchy Witch by Frank J. Sileo, Ph.D., explores the difference between tattling, or snitching, and telling or reporting. As young children  develop their sense of right and wrong, they may struggle with tattling. This excerpt from Dr. Sileo’s “Note to Grown-Up Witches” provides useful strategies for parents to help their children learn the difference between snitching and telling, develop problem-solving skills, and develop empathy. To Tell or Not to Tell Snitching, or tattling, is telling on someone when the situation is safe and does not require an adult to be involved. Telling, or reporting, is telling an adult when someone or something is being hurt or is in danger, or when someone is deliberately being destructive or hurtful. Children tattle for many different reasons including seeking attention, jealousy or wanting to get someone in trouble, to show they know the rules, and others. They may snitch because they haven’t yet developed the ability to think abstractly, so they interpret rules very rigidly. Young children also may have not yet developed effective interpersonal problem solving skills, leading them to involve adults unnecessarily. Of course, there are times when children should always tell an adult that something is going on. Let your child know they can always ask you if they are unsure about a situation. Help your child learn to recognize the difference between dangerous situations, like bullying or someone or getting hurt, and frustrating or upsetting situations, like people being rude or selfish, by providing concrete examples. Wanda was glad she made the switch from being a snitch! If Your Child Snitches Teaching your child the difference between snitching and telling is an important starting point, but remember that children may snitch for a lot of different reasons. Teach Problem-Solving Skills Young children are learning the important skills needed to deal with conflict and problems. Stepping in to solve problems too quickly will teach your child that the only way to solve a problem is to go to an adult for help. Instead, teach your child to work through conflicts with others. For example, suggest they take a few deep breaths and think about a way to handle the situation on their own before tattling. Give them tools—like using words (“I don’t like it when you don’t share with me”) or walking away to play with someone or something else in a difficult situation. Avoid Rewarding Snitching Behavior Sometimes a child tattles because she is seeking attention, feels jealous, or wants to get another child in trouble. Resist jumping right in and to scold the “perpetrator.” You’ll be giving the “snitcher” a false sense of importance, and likely encourage more snitching. If safety is not an issue, avoid punishing the other child, so that you avoid giving positive attention to the snitcher. Show and Teach Empathy Children may snitch because the want

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Don’t Be a Snitchy Witch: Tips to Prevent Snitching 2022-10-24T23:54:36-04:00

Better Together: Interview With the Author

What’s better than a book about a band that welcomes a new member? A sequel about working out the challenges of growing and changing friendships! We interviewed author and illustrator Chloe Douglass about her new book, Better Together, the follow-up to Band Together. Here’s what she had to say:    APA: After writing Band Together, why did you decide to write this story about the members of the Band?  Cover idea Cover idea Chloe Douglass: I was interested to see what would happen to the band after Duck joined and they welcomed a new friend to the group and how that might change the dynamics within the band. I think we’ve all experienced this at some point.     APA: You explore some really powerful feelings with Seagull. She feels envy, ignored, pushed aside, sad, angry, lonely, and jealous. Why do you think it’s important for kids to explore these feelings? CD: They’re powerful feelings, and it’s ok to feel all of them and see how they might affect your own and others. I hope the book can be a starting point for conversations about an experience  readers might have with these emotions, or help them be better able to put themselves in other people’s shoes. They’re all feelings a reader is bound to experience sooner or later, like someone new at school joining your friendship group, or you’re the new person. Either way, I hope the book can help discussions from both viewpoints.     Seagull boils over APA: You describe how Seagull’s body felt when the band played Duck’s song instead of hers: “Seagull’s insides began to flutter, then rumbled, and finally boiled over.” Why was it important to include a description of how Seagull’s body reacted to big emotions?   CD: Feelings can manifest in so many ways, and that includes physical sensations. Again, it could be a conversation starter, learning to recognize how certain situations or things make us feel before you might lose your temper, or get control on rising anxiety before it takes over.    APA: Some readers might find they have more in common with Bear, Duck, and Fox. How did they not notice how Seagull felt? Were they just not paying attention? Were they carried away with someone and something new? Were they taking Seagull for granted?  CD: Absolutely this! We’ve all been there at some point. It's really exciting when someone new joins a group of friends, or a new baby becomes part of the family. But it can be easy to overlook those who might feel a bit left out, or those who don’t want the status quo to change. It’s not always intentional, from both sides, but when you realize that you’ve overlooked someone's feelings, you can make amends and be more aware going forward.     Seagull's Song APA: Tell me about writing the songs in the story: Work It Out, Better Together (Birds of a Feather), and Super Duper

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Better Together: Interview With the Author 2022-09-27T11:46:20-04:00

New School Books for a New School Year

The new school year has started! The American Psychological Association has books for kids and teens to help with that transition, including books about:  starting school for the very first time, starting at a new school, making friends, gender nonconformity,  what it’s like to have a learning difference, and  new titles about how to manage challenges in middle school. Managing Middle School The Kid Confident Books are an awesome nonfiction book series developed with expert psychologist and series editor, Bonnie Zucker, PsyD, that authentically captures the middle school experience. These books skillfully guide middle schoolers through those tricky years between elementary and high school with a supporting voice of a trusted big sister or a favorite aunt, stealthily offering life lessons and evidence-based coping skills. Kid Confident offers what kids need to have fun with it all and navigate middle school with confidence, humor, perspective, and feel our mad respect for being the amazing humans they already are. Kid Confident Book 1: How to Master Social Power in Middle School by Bonnie Zucker, PsyD Kid Confident Book #1 discusses the dynamic of social power, equal and unequal, in the context of friendships and with unfriendly peers. Readers learn how to be more assertive and how to create more self-confidence and balance the power in their friend groups. Check out the book.  Kid Confident Book 2: How to Master Your Mood in Middle School by Lenka Glassman, PsyD Kid Confident Book #2 helps middle schoolers identify, manage, and self-regulate their emotions and moods. It teaches the importance of sleep, exercise, nutrition and relaxation in creating stability and balance. It also addresses the cognitive distortions that often create an imbalanced mood. Check out the book.  Starting School for the First Time When a Dragon Goes to School by Caryl Hart Follow the dragon’s lead as kids headed to class explore school manners. When a dragon goes to school, will she throw crayons and refuse to share the toys? Why, no! Dragons don’t do that! While behaving well at school isn’t always easy, this dragon makes it fun. Check out the book. A companion book to the manners must-have When a Dragon Comes to Stay, this book helps kids get fired up for good classroom behavior. Read an interview with Caryl Hart. I Don’t Want to Go to School! by Alberto Pellai, MD, PhD and Barbara Tamborini  New routine, new friends, new places, and new faces, and parental or caregiver separation can be a lot to handle at first!  This sensitive book will help kids and parents talk about this big step and transition to being apart during the day—and maybe even have fun at school! This book includes a Reader’s Note to further explain this common behavioral and emotional stage of childhood. Read an excerpt from I Don’t Want to Go to School!  Changing Schools New Kid, New Scene: A Guide to Moving and Switching Schools by Debbie Glasser, PhD, and Emily Schenck Calling all new kids! Do you know a

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New School Books for a New School Year 2022-09-03T18:36:21-04:00