Child Development

Don’t Be a Snitchy Witch: Tips to Prevent Snitching

Nobody likes a snitch, but it can be difficult for children to understand the difference between being a tattle tale and reporting a dangerous situation to an adult.  Snitchy Witch by Frank J. Sileo, Ph.D., explores the difference between tattling, or snitching, and telling or reporting. As young children  develop their sense of right and wrong, they may struggle with tattling. This excerpt from Dr. Sileo’s “Note to Grown-Up Witches” provides useful strategies for parents to help their children learn the difference between snitching and telling, develop problem-solving skills, and develop empathy. To Tell or Not to Tell Snitching, or tattling, is telling on someone when the situation is safe and does not require an adult to be involved. Telling, or reporting, is telling an adult when someone or something is being hurt or is in danger, or when someone is deliberately being destructive or hurtful. Children tattle for many different reasons including seeking attention, jealousy or wanting to get someone in trouble, to show they know the rules, and others. They may snitch because they haven’t yet developed the ability to think abstractly, so they interpret rules very rigidly. Young children also may have not yet developed effective interpersonal problem solving skills, leading them to involve adults unnecessarily. Of course, there are times when children should always tell an adult that something is going on. Let your child know they can always ask you if they are unsure about a situation. Help your child learn to recognize the difference between dangerous situations, like bullying or someone or getting hurt, and frustrating or upsetting situations, like people being rude or selfish, by providing concrete examples. Wanda was glad she made the switch from being a snitch! If Your Child Snitches Teaching your child the difference between snitching and telling is an important starting point, but remember that children may snitch for a lot of different reasons. Teach Problem-Solving Skills Young children are learning the important skills needed to deal with conflict and problems. Stepping in to solve problems too quickly will teach your child that the only way to solve a problem is to go to an adult for help. Instead, teach your child to work through conflicts with others. For example, suggest they take a few deep breaths and think about a way to handle the situation on their own before tattling. Give them tools—like using words (“I don’t like it when you don’t share with me”) or walking away to play with someone or something else in a difficult situation. Avoid Rewarding Snitching Behavior Sometimes a child tattles because she is seeking attention, feels jealous, or wants to get another child in trouble. Resist jumping right in and to scold the “perpetrator.” You’ll be giving the “snitcher” a false sense of importance, and likely encourage more snitching. If safety is not an issue, avoid punishing the other child, so that you avoid giving positive attention to the snitcher. Show and Teach Empathy Children may snitch because the want

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Don’t Be a Snitchy Witch: Tips to Prevent Snitching 2022-10-24T23:54:36-04:00

Build Confidence with Books

October 20th is National Youth Confidence Day. Helping kids develop a sense of confidence and resilience is a big task for parents and caregivers. The American Psychological Association has books for children and teens that explore confidence, self-esteem, and resilience Here are some of our recent titles:    Big Bold Beautiful Me: A Story That’s Loud Proud and Celebrates You! by Jane Yolen and Maddison Stemple-Piatt  Big Bold Beautiful Me is a delightful announcement of self-love, self-appreciation, self-acceptance, and self-comfort, and being 100% proud of who you are and your shape. Check out the book.  “Children celebrate their abundant bodies, from their hair to their feet…As each child repeats the celebratory refrain, Burgett’s cheerful illustrations portray them alongside kids from previous spreads, emphasizing connection and belonging… An upbeat, uncomplicated ode to bodies that are big, thick, broad, and boundless.”—Kirkus Reviews    Brilliant Bea by Shaina Rudolph and Mary Vukadinovich  Brilliant Bea is an endearing and empowering story that demonstrates that a learning difference like dyslexia doesn’t define who you are. Check out the book.   “The teacher’s supportive actions are wonderful to see, but even better is how the tape recorder helps Bea connect with her classmates. Printed in a dyslexia-friendly font, this affirming story about finding your feet and your voice is a lovely confidence booster for young readers, especially those who may learn differently.” —Booklist  Hear the story read aloud. Read an excerpt from the Reader's Note.   You Can't Please Everyone! by Ellen Flanagan Burns  Ellie feels like she is disappointing people if she says “no.” With help from her parents and her teacher, Ellie finds the strength to be honest with people and do the right thing for herself by learning how to say “no.” Check out the book.    Read an excerpt from the introduction.       Like Ability: The Truth About Popularity by Lori Getz, MA and Mitchell J. Prinstein, PhD  Like Ability is a practical, insightful guide for teens about popularity: what it is, why some kinds are healthier than others, and how teens can grow their social intelligence and develop the confidence they need to feel more connected to their family, peers, and community. Check out the book.   Read an excerpt from Like Ability.    The Kid Confident books are part of a new nonfiction book series developed with expert psychologist and series editor, Bonnie Zucker, PsyD, that authentically captures the middle school experience. These books skillfully guide middle schoolers through those tricky years between elementary and high school with a supporting voice of a trusted big sister or a favorite aunt, stealthily offering life lessons and evidence-based coping skills.   Kid Confident: How To Manage Your SOCIAL POWER In Middle School (Book #1) by Bonnie Zucker, PsyD  Kid Confident (Book #1) discusses dynamic of social power, equal and unequal, in the context of friendships and with unfriendly peers. Readers learn how to be more assertive and how to create more self-confidence and balance the power in their friend groups. Check out

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Build Confidence with Books 2022-10-19T18:49:07-04:00

What Boys Do

What exactly do boys do? The answer is ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! From eating to dreaming, making mistakes to exploring, to hurting and loving, there is more to being a boy than meets the eye. What Boys Do by Jon Lasser, PhD, is a fun, affirming book that holds no restraints to traditional norms about what it means to be a boy. Read an excerpt from the readers note with strategies to support boys. Hear Dr. Lasser read What Boys Do aloud.

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What Boys Do 2022-06-21T18:38:02-04:00