Helping Your Young Child Feel and Understand Their Feelings
We all know that emotions like love and gratitude are fun and beneficial, but what about emotions like fear, worry or jealousy? Believe it or not, all our feelings serve a purpose. I say “believe it or not” because maybe, like me, you may have grown up believing that being scared is a bad thing and something to be avoided. Fear certainly does feel uncomfortable, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that you could make friends with fear? The following is an excerpt from the Reader’s Note in our new book Feel Your Feelings. It explains the basic concept of the book and why scary emotions are our friends. Why being scared (or afraid) is a good thing Feel Your Feelings introduces children to basic emotions with fun poems that they can act out from head to toe. They will learn that emotions are our friends. Some emotions show us what we love, others protect us from harm, and all of them put together, like colors on an artist’s palette, paint a beautiful picture of life. This simple book about learning how to identify and accept the emotions you have creates a safe place for children to act out a variety of feelings. Having feelings is part of being a human being, but learning how to feel your feelings is part of being a healthy and wise human being. Teaching children to recognize and appreciate all their feelings is a wonderful gift a parent, teacher, or caregiver can give. The basic concept of feeling your feelings There is no such thing as a good or bad feeling. An emotion may feel bad — or as we like to say, “uncomfortable” — but that doesn’t mean it is a bad emotion to have or that we should try to avoid having uncomfortable feelings. Every feeling has a purpose! Every feeling is your friend. Some emotions teach us what we are passionate about, and some emotions teach us which dangers to avoid. Emotions are the spice of life. They are what motivate us and help form our moral compass. Why we label emotions as bad One reason we label emotions as bad is that they can lead to emotional outbursts. It’s as if you have a friend called “Scared” knocking on the door trying to warn you there is a fire outside, but you’re too scared to open the door. So, the knocking gets louder and more frantic until Scared bursts into the room and, suddenly, everyone is panicking because the room is on fire. But what if we could open the door a lot sooner and ask Scared, “What’s the problem?” Scared might say, “I’m here to help. Please don’t panic. There is fire, and we need to calmly exit the building and call for help.” If we never open the door to our emotions, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical illness. When children understand how they are feeling and feel safe expressing themselves, it
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